Je veux ton corps..
assgod:

bert-macklen-fbi:

and the award for the best way to avoid an embarrassing moment goes to
whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said  “Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad) I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
no-this-is-jarod:

public school dress code
fenchurchdent:

chicklikemeblog:

Playboy’s catcall flowchart.  

I’m reblogging Playboy. Somebody stop me. 

realniggaannouncements:

I had a dream last night that Jesus finally resurrected and when white people found out he wasn’t white they arrested him for 2000 something years of tax evasion  

(via andrewbelami)

155332 notes // reblog

so i was in the bus with this granny by my side when we spotted two girls kissing by the bus stop. the granny turned to me and said “these girls are so pretty. at their age i was pretty ugly. well, maybe that’s why i had to marry a man” i almost died omg

(Source: sixelya, via homewrecks)

519576 notes // reblog

snapchatting:

i can’t believe your hips would just lie to me like that

(via negro---please)

242286 notes // reblog
3715 notes // reblog
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